Chocolate, Advent and Boris

The annual countdown is in its final stages, and once again I'm subject to attempts to assimilate me by chocolate. Ok it is fairly traided Divine chocolate, which isn't to be sniffed at, but I'm sighty bored of the same story every year. Maybe if the daiy chocolate started when the retail countdown to christmas started I wouln't dislike it so much, but then it'd be daily chocoalate shortly after the time honoured ritual of stocking up on chocolate on the first shopping day after easter...

Of course advent woudn't be complete without some tale of mass murder, rape and pillage. Yes I mean the crusades. This year London's favrourite buffoon, Boris Johnson, narrated a tale of holy war. So it didn't go down well with The Telegraph, but I have to say I'm impressed he didn't manage to cock it up entirely, maybe the poor taste jokes between nodding ernestly are a on the cutting room floor, and if that's the case then the BBC must really like him given the reccent Russel Brand incident and the Jeremy Clarkson truck-driver-slur. But I think the BBC is done implementing cutbacks by upsetting the easily offended. It's a great idea, and if our patent system as as broken as the US system, someone would have patented it...

Where was I, oh yes, Boris. He was remarkably tactful in his descriptions of religion as an excuse for empire building and was remarkably uniform criticsm of political and spiritual leaders on both sides of the current West vs. Middle East squabble, although the only leader mentioned by name was Mankind's Closest Living Relative. I'm surprised and slightly worried at how good a job Boris seems to be doing at appearing sensible and serious. Worried? Why? Well it looks like a mildly amusing person who shoudn't be in a position of power is busy with the being serious and tactless.

Even more worryingly, it appears Boris is Clarkson's guest on tomorrow's Top Gear. Given the show's alrady been filmed and Boris isn't dead or listed as a Missing Person, then I shall spend the next 15 hours or so living in fear of some kind of world domination plan formuated by a newly formed Axis of Incompetence. I take comfort in the spectacular failure of most of Clarkson's mad schemes, but he only has to be lucky once. And given his home made amphibious pickup trip across the channel failed to kill him, I'm sure there are people out there who consider him to have a better chance of success in running the country than our beloved Gordon.